I'd Swim Across Lake Michigan...

Healing rain pounds the earth

and my soul.

I guzzle* red wine

and dance in ecstasy

in this rustic cottage,

a haven.

Oh God,

How I prayed for

peace,

And forgot:

It's not the absence of thought,

but the remembrance of truth.

You are mine,

and I am yours.

You are love,

I am your beloved.

You are hope,

and I hope in You.

Oh sweet peace.

* I'm not a drunk. Guzzle is just a great word.

(Poem written last Monday night, in the middle of a thunderstorm.)

This past week I went to Sawyer, Michigan to an idyllic (albeit a bit cultish) little community called Bethany Beach where my family and I have spent almost every summer since I can remember. This summer was the first I spent in our rental cottage without my dear familia. While I love being there with them, I was in desperate need of a week alone. A week to get away and not have to meet any demands. A week to do things for me. A week to try to get out of my head. A week to try to rid myself of anxiety and fear and allow myself to relax. It was such a blessing that my parents paid for this vacation for myself and friends (I had a few friends come for a couple days.) Really, beach vacations are just the best. I mean, there's just no question in my head.

Solitude is wonderful for your soul. Did you know that? It is amazingly cathartic. So are old friends and meteor showers.

I jumped back to reality this week with a couple interviews for teaching assistant positions, and a messy bedroom and basement full of still unpacked suitcases, and bags and boxes of clothes, shoes, books, purses, and other miscellaneous items from the past. So sorting through all of that is my project for the next few days. (Read: I'm going to go shopping in my basement and feel like I bought new clothes.)

Although this week was in a lot of ways exactly what I needed, I'm still dealing with anxiety. I'm still figuring life out, and jumping on a plane back to Bolivia seems agreeable to me most days. But I'm beginning to discover my purpose here and I'm hopeful for what this next season brings. I'm finding prayer and yoga and writing to center me, and I'm grateful they're reducing my anxiety. I'm also extremely thankful for the friends from high school and college around me now, and my parents who provide me with free housing and food and do things for me like make me iced coffee in the morning. Really, I've got it good.

Thanks for supporting me, friends and fam. Let me know how I can support you.