scaling walls; the walls that took us years to build
climbing trees; haven't much since we were children
shaking limbs tend to end up bent and broken
safe inside the walls we built, we found ourselves a home
higher branches, harder fall
hesitation stops us all
oh, you'll never know
climbing trees; haven't much since we were children
shaking limbs tend to end up bent and broken
but heartache pales in comparison to love
This song, "Trees" comes from a new-ish band out of Texas called "The Oh Hello's", and I am in love with them--even more now after seeing them in concert Sunday night. Their sound is similar to "Of Monsters and Men," and their lyrics are simple but beautiful. I keep listening to this particular song over and over again. It's musically catchy while being lyrically inspiring, and it seems to be my anthem right now, as I am in transition and having a bit of a hard time with it.
First, some background if you have not heard: I returned to Chicagoland on Wednesday after completing my second year of teaching in La Paz, Bolivia and staying a little over a month extra to visit with family, take 3 weeks of Spanish lessons 4 hours a day, hang out with friends, and host a bunch of strangers from England who are now friends.
And so, now begins the next phase of my life which right now seems completely unknown, scary, and daunting. I know I'm supposed to enjoy vacation and all of the weddings, receptions, concerts, trips, etc. that I have planned in the next couple months, but it's taken a bit of effort to enjoy life these last 5 days stateside, even though my circumstances have been great--albeit my head exploding from allergies.
This lack of whole-hearted enjoyment I know is due to stress and worry. Never before in my life have I not had a clear plan ahead of me; I have always had a previously set time of vacation before full-time work or classes began again. And other than my plan to start two night classes in mid-September, I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing here...
And yet, I felt the call back; I feel like I'm here for something. I know there are higher branches I need to climb, even in this sleepy, familiar town. I've already hesitated too many times in the last 5 days, thinking, "How am I going to grow here? What higher branches can I climb?" But I'm realizing I don't need to go overseas again or even to another city in order to grow, to climb higher, to step out on the shaky limbs, to scale the walls that I've built. Downers Grove is full of trees....
So, why the title "Higher Branches, Deeper Roots"? Well, as I said, I am aiming to reach for higher branches still and climb without hesitation and fear, and the "deeper roots" part comes from one of my favorite passages of scripture, in Jeremiah.
"But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit." -Jeremiah 17:7-8
While I love the imagery of climbing higher branches, I also love pretending I AM a tree planted next to a river, with roots reaching down to the source of sustaining life so more fruit can grow.
I want to climb higher, I want to stretch lower--to my source, my God. Because He is my life and He is my hope. And I'm thankful for His voice of guidance whispering, "Don't climb that branch, climb THAT higher one!" I was very close to having a nannying job the other day, but I knew my heart wasn't in it. And so I gave up job security to listen to a still small voice say "I know better, so please trust me."
And I'm hearing Him say now, "This writing thing EXCITES you, so do it more! My gift to you right now is TIME."
So, reaching but rooted I stand; No hesitations.
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